i Am now AfricAn AmericAn y’All’

Its official, I am now an African American!
by khAlid A
This has been long time coming and I would like to take a second or two to thank everyone who has supported me in my quest. I have worked pretty hard on the accent and dressing and who would have thought the seal of all seals would come on that cold Saturday morning.

I was doing 66 on a 65 mile per hour zone when I got pulled over by the cops!
I am so excited because a brush with the police was all that stood between me and my African American status.

After stopping my car I opened my door and he officer addressed me using her loud speaker!

“Put your hands where I can see them”

At this point my heart was palpitating like the beat on a 50 cent record. Do you know for how long I have waited for this to happen? I mean the police considered me dangerous! I am still excited over that and it was the icing on the cake for me.

The officer came over to my window and I pulled it down and once I opened my mouth I blew it because she asked me which country I was from.

My excitement faded because she now knew I was not African American.

The moment I told her I am from Kenya, she got excited and our conversation turned to wildlife and how pure and undiluted our national parks were. She spoke of the free spirited Africans who kill elephants and lions with their bare hands and sleep on tree tops.

Sadly, I expected to be addressed as a dangerous gangster and I was really looking forward to a strip search but all I got was ‘wildlife talk.’

She then bid me farewell by saying ‘Jambo’ which is hello in Swahili.

Don’t laugh! Do you know how many ‘wanabee gangsters’ out there would kill for an opportunity like that? Just being stopped by the police sealed my quest to be African American and all that is left is to record a rap song cussing at the police for coming after me and wanting to mess my style.

Now, am African American and all that is left is to buy some rims, shiny jewelry –bling bling, and more oversized pants.

                                                               

Y’all can hate but hommie amma take over the scene coz am slicker than Vaseline! Yoh! 
<b>ps: in honor of this occassion i have changed my name to slick rick.  And y’all should hola at me like so! you heard?</b>